I am exhausted! It has been a very tough last couple of days. I am really even too tired to blog. So, let me leave you this evening with a thought that I wish that more people understood.
"What matters most in life is not WHO is right, but instead, WHAT is right."
People sometimes get so hung up with their own appointed superiority, that they are unable to see what is right, because they need so badly for their way to be the right way, simply because it is theirs, regardless of the logic or validity or even the morality of "their way."
Those who focus on WHO is right, rather than WHAT is right sometimes make life very difficult for those who are trying to do WHAT is right.
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8 comments:
Conni,
I appreciate your diligence and desire to do what is right. . .it shows a good heart and a desire to be a good person.
I do not know ANYTHING about the situation in question, but I do know that we, as people, have a terrible time with absolutist thinking. It may be that one, or both, of you in this conflict are defining the concept of "right" in a very rigid, absolute way. I find that many conflicts that I get into or have gotten into in the past, occur because one or both of the people involved have not taken the time to think thru here the other person is coming from.
Assessment is the key to any problem solving situation. That is sometimes the aspect of conflict resolution that we, in our solution oriented culture, tend to gloss over. Sometimes the concept of "What is right vs. WHO is right" becomes a little clearer after some deliberation and meditation.
But hey, since when am I the litmus test for positive and productive interactions?
98314potihj
why do you assume that there is a conflict in question?
Hmmmmmmmm. . .
I would say that the entire context of your original post implies that there is a conflict with another person. I interpreted the whole concept of "Who or What?" to be a question of people maintaining their individual viewpoints regardless of what is logically or wthically right.
If I misunderstood that, I apologize. Do you think you could help me to understand where you were coming from a little better?
I really agree with Conni and it has taken some time to learn this concept. Yet, I still have to remind myself that it is not about who is right but what is right. I also think that we tend to focus on who is right because our emotions are normally so tied up in the situation that it is a normal response to focus on who instead of what. I think it also has a lot to do with pride.
It was a general thought, and an observation that I have made many times over the years. It was not written about anything in particular, but just a "the world would be a better place if..." kind of statement.
It was not directed to or at anyone. It was a thought that I felt was important to share.
Gotcha,
I apologize for jumping to conclusions. . .it is here that I guess I show the validity of my own advice in my own failings. . .I should have asked more questions and assesed what was being said before jumping to conclusions and attempting to "provide answers". Your idea is sound in that truth is a better guide than personality in making decisions.
The question that I would ask in response to your statement is this: In your idea of WHAT is right vs WHO is right, how does one disassociate the subjective nature of value judgements from that? In other words, I understand that you, as a Christian, will maintain that certain things are absolutely right and absolutely wrong, but even within certain sects, groups, and denominations, people will treat their very subjective understanding of the Bible as an absolute, objective, truth (your post of a week or so ago entitled "falling away" is a GREAT example of that concept in action).
So, I guess what I am wondering, is how DOES one determine WHAT is right in order to defer to an absolute, rahter than an individual belief or personality trait?
BTW, I am not sure that I have the answer to that question. . .still part of my "questioning".
Some things are absolute. Black is Black and White is White. Some things are not absolute. There are lots of gray areas.
My point is that if we are talking about absolutes, then it shouldnt matter who is right, we are talking about what is right.
I wont argue that there are more than one definition of "right" in some cases. But there are some absolutes.
Right, I understand that, but what my question is, what standard do we use to measure these absolutes? I understand that there ARE things that are wrong, absolutely, but what I am asking is how do you think that we, as people, limited by our own personal subjective filters with nearly everything that we come in contact with. How do you believe that we differentiate our own subjective perceptions of what is right and wrong from the absolute "Black and White" sandards that you speak of?
Again, I am not trying to be argumentative. . .what I am simply trying to do is to understand how we determine WHAT that Right is? At least in your opinion? What is the standard, what black and white standard, that is immune to personal interpretation, that we can go by to evaluate the WHAT of "right" and still be sure that we are not filtering these things thru the "WHO"?
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