Remembering Grandma

It is hard to believe that it has already been a year since Grandma lost her battle with breast cancer. It seems like it was just yesterday that I sat beside her bed, holding her hand, and praying that God would let the suffering end. I fondly remember her smile as she told me that she would be “going soon” and reminded me that everything was going to be okay after she was gone. It was just like Grandma to take care of everyone else, regardless of what her situation was.

Grandma died at about 7:45 in the evening on Sunday night, November 21, 2004. I was surrounded by close friends and the call came only minutes after we had prayed for God to take her quickly and painlessly. As much as it hurt, I was thankful that God had answered our prayer. In the days following Grandma’s passing, my focus was turned from great sadness to joy as I planned her memorial service.

Grandma was my best friend and my hero. Her house was my place of respite, and I knew that I could always find comfort in her arms. Her marriage of 53 years to my grandfather served as an amazing example of love, and her desire to serve children taught me the value of giving. She was my biggest fan, and often told me that I had been blessed with the voice of an angel. She and PaPa never missed a single vocal performance. Grandma bought me my very first “real” Bible, and told me that even though we didn’t believe exactly the same, that she hoped that I was happy and fulfilled with whatever I believed. Grandma knew that I made a lot of mistakes, but she never belittled me, ridiculed me, or talked down to me. She told me that I was smart and beautiful. She taught me to cook, bowl, and how to let some things go in one ear and out the other. My grandma was an amazing woman, and I never once doubted her love.

I think that she would be sad if she knew that I still cry myself to sleep sometimes because I miss her so much. I suppose I feel her absence the most when I have something wonderful to share. When one of the kids does something cool, or when I get great news about something, I always think, “I wish I could call Grandma; she would be so proud.” Knowing that I can’t pick up the phone, or drive down to the city to see her breaks my heart. If she could, she would tell me to dry my tears and remember all of the good times. She wouldn’t want me to focus on her death, but instead on her life and the joy that she shared with so many.

I love and miss her, but am so thankful that God allowed Jennie Sue Menendez to be my grandmother!