I've written several times here about being an Olympic junkie. Michael Phelps is among my favorites. As I have watched him make history, I have been touched by his mother's presence and support. At the same time, like many other viewers, I have wondered.... WHERE IS DAD?
Today, I read an article about dear old Daddy Phelps. Here is what I learned...
- mom and dad divorced when Michael was about 9
- dad wouldn't support Michael's desire to swim because swimming is a "girl" sport
- he has chosen not to be active in his son's life
- although he is aware of his son making history in the pool- HE HAS NOT EVEN CALLED TO CONGRATULATE HIM!
WHAT? I just don't get it. Even he and mom hate each other with a passion- He should have been there for his son. He should have been there when he made history, and he should have been there to apologize for not supporting him.
Maybe Daddy Phelps couldn't afford to go, or maybe he has health problems that kept him from traveling... okay.... would it have been so hard to pick up the phone or send an email, and say the words that surely Michael would want to hear? "I am proud of you son."
Here is what I think:
Michael is better off without Dear Old Daddy Phelps.
Parents (mothers AND fathers) should support their kids... it doesn't matter if YOU think swimming is a "girl" sport! It matters what your CHILD wants to do with HIS LIFE-
OH- I just HATE dead beat dads... (and moms too.... but that is another story for another day)
11 comments:
I read that article too - he is much better off without him. His mother has always been there for him. I never cease to be amazed, saddened, and angered when I see children neglected by either parent. This is a soap box I can jump on very easily. a
I agree, I know too many people who have been neglected by their Dads, unfortunately my hubby is one of them. Glad you're blogging again.
But you know. . .we only know one side of the story. it is VERY possible that Michael Phelps father was someone who WANTED to be involved with his son's life, but his mother painted a picture of insensitivity and closed mindedness. Stuff like this happens all the time.
It may be that Phelps' father wants nothing more than to be involved in his son's life, but Momma Phelps has portrayed him in a way that makes Michael think that he is not really worth having around.
I think that in THAT sort of situation, it is not a case of a "Dead beat Dad" (a term which is frequently used by slanderous, scheming, conniving women to incite negative emotions), bu a manipulative, controlling mother.
Wow,Anonymous! You nailed it. My Mother actually had me believing my Dad was Satan himself. As it turned out, it was her. Talk about manipulative. She should have been an actress! I believed her for nearly 19 years. The truth seems to always find its way out, no matter how long it takes!
I couldn't help but wonder if Mrs. Phelps (it is usually the custodial parent) has influenced their relationship in ways she shouldn't have.
Yes, it is true- SOMETIMES the custodial parent talks down about the non-custodial parent... and has an impact on how a child perceives him/her. HOWEVER, there are cases where this is just not the case. I don't know what Mrs. Phelps said to Michael, but I do know that Mr. Phelps called his son a "girl" and a "sissy" because he wanted to swim instead of play a more "manly" sport. (Assuming Michael was honest in the interview that I saw.) And, I do know that the last time I checked America was a free country, and China was encouraging visitors, so Mr. Phelps could have been there if he had wanted to be. In MY opinion, that alone makes him a poor father. What kind of dad stomps on his kid's dream by name-calling and then when the kid surpasses all expectations of accomplishment, and wins 8 GOLD MEDALS can't even pick up a phone?
As far as mothers who are controlling and manipulative, I cannot speak factually about Mrs. Phelps because I do not know her or her intent. What I can say is she was there... and has been there the whole time with her son encouraging him to pursue his own dreams.
Some people are just liars. . .we don't REALLY know that Daddy Phelps even ever said that.
I am not really sure where the anger and defensiveness are coming from... I have my opinion and you have yours, and both are just fine. I dont know if Michael is lying or not, and I don't care. This blog was written on the premise that he was telling the truth, which I have no reason to doubt.
Actually, I didn't read any anger or defensiveness in any of the other posts. . .I find it strange that you would say that.
I think a good point, on BOTH sides, is that we, the outside observers, don't really know what the truth of the matter is. I think rather than you or I saying that Phelps' father is this or that, maybe we should reserve judgment (from reading some of your other posts, unfair judgment is one of your pet peeves), and let Michael Phelps find out for HIMSELF who is father is or isn't.
ok.
regardless of the Phelps situation, SOME PEOPLE are dead beat dads.
I have mixed feelings about this. First of all I do not know what the situation was with Micheal and his father. I feel sorry for Micheal either way. I'm sure his mother has done the best she can and I am not going to talk down on her since she seemingly has supported him.
There are parents though, who will try to control the feelings of their children in an attempt to either control or lash out at the other parent. Young children can be permanently damaged when momma tells child, your father is a horrible person and all you really need is me. Why not let the child figure it out on his own, he will eventually know which parent is the true dead beat even if it is when he is all grown up.
I actually am in a situation where my son's father is not a nice person to put it lightly. I'm trying my best to protect my child but that doesn't include not giving his father a chance to be a father. If I did that, I can only imagine how my son might hate me when he grows up. That's a chance I will not take unless I feel that it is no longer safe for my son to be with his father.
Micheal seems to have turned out to be phenominal despite his father not being supportive of his choice of sport. Kudos to him for surviving despite whatever dysfunction was going on in that family.
Post a Comment