Acceptance of Differences

Most of us have seen this picture. In grade school, this drawing was placed in front of me (as well as all of the other 5th graders), and we were asked, “What do you see?” I clearly remember a boy yelling out, “An old lady!” I was stunned by his exclamation, as it was clearly not an old lady, but instead a very young lady. Chaos broke out into the classroom. Most of the children in the class quickly engaged into the argument. One boy said to another student, “You’d have to be an idiot not to see that it is a picture of an old woman.” My friend Monica said, “You must be blind, she is young!”

As adults, the majority of us can see that this is a young lady… and an old lady. It just depends on how you look at it. The artist who created this drawing did so in a way that one picture depicts two different women. So, both “young lady” and “old lady” are correct answers.

Isn’t life much the same way? Situations are viewed in various ways because of differing perceptions. Does one person’s view have to be more accurate than the other, just because they disagree? Should one person have to change his or her perception to appease the other? Why are we so opposed to “letting” people perceive things however they would like? We don’t have to agree with them, but we do need to learn to be respectful and not discount ones character just because they don’t view things they way that we do!

Our experiences in life dictate our perceptions. We can never go back and change what has already happened in our lives; our experiences are all that we have to go on. I think we spend entirely too much time and energy trying to get people to see our own personal views. What matters most is not whether or not the woman is old or young. It is the acceptance of differing opinions and perceptions that can make the world a better place.

Storms!

Today it is very rainy in St. Louis. In fact, we are expecting severe storms this afternoon, with the possibilities of tornadoes. I have kept an eye on the Weather Channel, as I would like to be prepared if things get as severe as they are predicting.

All of this weather talk reminds me that life is filled with storms too. We all experience troubles. Some experience small thunderstorms and some experience devastating hurricanes. Are we prepared? What are we doing to ensure our own safety? What channel can we tune into to help ourselves become better prepared to handle what is happening, (or about to happen) to us?

I personally know people who are dealing with divorce, criminal investigations, childhood memories, physical violence, job loss, financial instability, emotional abuse and major health issues. I know people who are struggling to find forgiveness in their hearts and a sense of peace for their lives. People are experiencing loneliness, hopelessness, and desperation. Some of these folks are completely overwhelmed and are unsure where to turn.

The good news is that we don’t have to be sucked up by these storms. We are kidding ourselves if we think we can handle the difficulties of life on our own. We must depend on God to help see us through the tempest, and to provide us with the calmness when it is over. Scripture teaches that God will never leave us. He provides us with a place of safety and rest when the tide gets too high, or the hail starts pounding against us. He provides us with forgiveness, mercy and grace when the sin in our lives roars like the thunder in the skies. He gives us friends who will gladly hold our umbrellas when we are too tired, and He provides shelter and support when our “houses” fall down around us.

We depend on the weatherman to guide us and give us information to help us prepare for the meteorological storms. Why are we so resistant sometimes to depend on God to help us when the storms of life come crashing in? God is ALWAYS right, ALWAYS accessible, and ALWAYS has our best interest in mind.

It is so hard to do, but imagine how life might be different if we all depended on God as much as many of depend on the weatherman.

Rape- What Ever Happened to Tamar?

This is going to be a pretty frank discussion of a pretty horrible topic, so if you don't think you can handle it, please stop reading now.

I received a phone call this morning from a friend who lives several hundred miles away. She and I met in college and have stayed in touch over the years. As a high school student, this young lady was a victim of date rape. As many survivors do, she has really struggled with it over the years, but overall does really well.

My friend explained to me that she was at church yesterday with her husband and children. She said that she hadn’t thought about the rape in months until the preacher said, “Would you join me in 2 Samuel 13 please? This morning we are going to look at story of Amnon and Tamar.” My friend said that she felt very uneasy from the beginning of the sermon, but felt like she could handle it after all of the work that she had done with a therapist several years ago. She said that she was even hoping that the preacher would put a spin on the sermon that would somehow offer more support and hope. Unfortunately, that was not the end result, and now she has found herself thinking about the rape all over again.

Most of us know the story of Amnon and Tamar. We know that Amnon was “in love” with Tamar and wanted to sleep with her. So, he manipulates the situation by pretending to be ill. Then he sends for Tamar so she can help to care for him. While she is trying to feed him, he grabs her and says, “Come to bed with me.” Tamar refuses, as she was not his wife. Amnon rapes her. End of story…. Well, obviously that is not the end of the story.

As my friend and I continued our dialogue, her anger became more and more obvious. Finally she said, “READ THE PASSAGE- SOCIETY HAS ALWAYS BLAMED THE VICTIMS OF RAPE! THAT IS SO WRONG! I KNOW THAT GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT IN THE END, BUT WHY DOES SOCIETY HAVE TO BLAME THE VICTIM AND TELL US TO KEEP QUIET?”

I grabbed my Bible, and turned to the passage. I have read this Scripture many times, but today I read it with very different eyes, and was immediately reminded of how some things may never change. Look at these Scriptures in 2 Samuel 13:

13: She tells him NO!
14: She asks him to consider her and what the repercussions of what he is about to do will have on her.
14: She offers an alternative to him to avoid the rape.
14: He rapes her.
15: Then Amnon hated her and sent her away. (Odd that HE hated HER for what HE did)
16-18: She begs him not to dismiss her, but he throws her out into the streets.
19: She put ashes on her head, and tore the robe that signified that she was a virgin. She went away weeping.
20: She goes to her brother’s house, and he finds out about the rape, and he instructs her to KEEP QUIET and to NOT TAKE IT TO HEART.
20: Tamar lives with her brother as a “desolate” woman.

My friend and I continued talking. She asked me,
“What ever happened to Tamar?”

The only answer I knew to give was an honest one: “I don’t know.” To be completely honest, I myself have wondered this many times. I have often thought that we aren’t told about what happens to her for a reason. Maybe we aren’t told because after the rape her life was over. Perhaps she became depressed and withdrawn. Perhaps she isolated herself as a matter of protection. Maybe she committed suicide. Maybe we don’t hear anything else about Tamar, because there was nothing to tell…literally. Maybe God doesn’t tell us what happened to Tamar because He wanted us to know that rape changes people’s lives FOREVER.

My friend and I prayed together and asked for God’s involvement. We agreed that we would talk again soon, and that she could call me if she wanted or needed to. She also agreed that she would make an appointment with her counselor if she continues to feel this way.

Our conversation forced me to ask myself some pretty important questions.
How is our society treating abuse victims?
How is the church treating abuse victims?
Are we guilty of minimizing the victim by telling them to keep quiet?
Do we really believe that a victim of rape can choose to “not take it to heart?”

I don’t know the answers. All I can do is rely on God. I do believe however, that a rape victim needs to be heard, validated, and encouraged to get help way beyond what a close friend can offer. We may never know what happened to Tamar. We need to make a point to know what happens to current rape victims.

God's Angels

Tonight I was with a group of friends, and during a discussion of Hagar and Ishmael (Genesis 21), I was reminded that God always hears our cries. Just as He heard Ishmael crying as he lay dying under a bush, He hears our heartache and pain as well. It is a pretty awesome thing to know that the God we serve is not just all-powerful, but He freely pours out amazing love as well. He never leaves us alone, and always provides a way out for us.

I was also reminded in the conversation that God provides us with what we need, but sometimes we need to remember to open our eyes. In the same way that He opened Hagar's eyes to see the well of water, He opens our eyes to His will and the people He sends into our lives. Sometimes I wonder if these people are truly God's angels. I don't know if they are angels or not, but I know that they are doing God's work. I know that God has sent people into my life that have helped me to mature, think for myself, forgive, sacrifice, and grow. He has blessed me with people who have shown me what true acceptance looks like and who have taught me the importance of accepting others. He has given me people who remind me how important it is to pray continually, search the Scriptures regularly, and finally define the words grace, mercy, and hope.

Furthermore, I was reminded today that Scripture teaches that we are to look at older Christians as our fathers and mothers, and we are supposed to look at younger Christians as our brothers and sisters. I just want to say thanks to the older men and women who are such an awesome example to me. I am thankful for your example, and for your willingness to do God's work. There are many who make an impact on my journey of faith, but I am particularly thankful for Gin, Brad, Sue, Mike, Deanie, Willie and Judy. You are amazing people and great teachers. I am also thankful for the brothers and sisters who also encourage me so much. I am grateful for my church family, and I am especially grateful for Robin and Jodi. Thanks for your sacrifice. It is my prayer that I will be able to touch people's lives in a similar way to the way that these "mothers and fathers" and "sisters" have touched mine.

So, I guess my point is this: God hears us- all of the time and He sends us amazing people to help us along the journey. All we have to do is open our eyes.

In Honor of our Veterans

On Veteran's Day, we salute America's 26 million living Veterans, and remember the soldiers who have passed on before us. We join the rest of the nation in remembering the sacrifice and thank them for their service to our country.

This year, we are especially grateful for the men and women serving to bring an end to terrorism. It is our hope and prayer that the soldiers in Iraq, (as well as other countries) will come home safely to their families as soon as possible.

On this Veteran's Day, I'd like to say a special thank you to those veterans who are particularly close to my heart: Jason, PaPa, Steve, Lisa, Keith, and Anne. Your service is appreciated.

God bless America!

Eclectic Blogging

A few friends have asked me how I choose what I am going to blog about each day. I must be honest; I don't generally give it a lot of thought. I just pick up the laptop and start typing about whatever is on my heart or mind. I have always loved writing, but I admit that I also like being able to give my opinion on things. And hey- it is my blog, so I can!

I also believe that talking about things always has the potential of making a difference. Take for example the blogs below titled "Thanks Oprah" or "November is National Adoption Awareness Month." It may be wishful thinking, but I like to think that someone, somewhere, will come across this blog, and a difference in a life will be made.

Don't get me wrong, I highly doubt that my opinion about the Wizard of Oz is likely to change a life, nor do I think sharing about Bekah's solo will change the world, but I do think that some pretty important stuff can be addressed here. I also think people can use the links on my blog to help make a difference. Take for instance the link to CFS. We know that a lot of good things come from there!

So to answer the question, I blog about whatever is on my heart or mind. It may be God's grace, Bekah getting ready for the ACT, a great movie, dinner with friends, a cause I am passionate about, or being married to one of the coolest people in the world. I believe that it is all important, and it all has the potential to make a difference...even if it is just in one life...MINE.

They grow up so fast!

Remember when she looked like this? This picture was taken around Bekah's 1st birthday. She has changed a lot since then. Tonight she reminded us that she isn't a little kid anymore. Tonight Bekah stood on the stage at the High School and sang a solo with her choral group. Please don't ask me what she sang, because it was in FRENCH! She did a beautiful job. She seemed very nervous during the song prior, biting her lip throughout the entire song. But when it was time for her solo, she stepped forward and sang with grace and confidence. We are so proud!

She really is a cool kid, and we are so proud of her for so many reasons. She has a heart of gold, loves people, enjoys serving and helping others, and gives God all the glory in the end. Okay, well, she gives God most of the glory in the end! Now, if we could just get her to clean her room...It's hard to believe that she is 12. She is already talking about all of the important things in life: where to go to college, cute boys, and which songs to download off of iTunes!

We are truly blessed to have such an awesome kid! We just wish that she didn't have to grow up so fast!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road...Again.

As far as I am concerned, the best movie ever made was THE WIZARD OF OZ. I believe this movie teaches a great deal about being true to one’s self, friendship, family, and faith. As we travel to the Wonderful Land of Oz, we are repeatedly reminded of what is truly important in life. Apparently I am not the only one who thinks that this movie is one of the greatest, as it was voted by the American Film Institute as the Best Family Film of all time. The Wizard of Oz was written by Frank Baum in 1900, made it’s debut as a movie over 60 years ago, and starred Judy Garland as Dorothy. The Wizard of Oz received six Academy Award nominations, including Best Picture, and won two Oscars: Best Original Score and Best Song ("Over the Rainbow"). On October 25, Warner Home Video released a Two-Disc Special Edition and a Three-Disc Collector's Edition for fans to enjoy, and they are jammed packed with new features for viewers. The bonuses of having this collection are too numerous to name, but they are certainally worth checking out!

This is a must have for all Oz collectors. I have no doubt that I will be traveling down the yellow brick road again very soon! (Christmas is coming ya know?) The Wicked Witch herself couldn’t keep me away! Oh yeah, just in case you are wondering, no I don’t work for Warner Home Video, and no I don’t make commission on the sale of this DVD!

Be Still...

This morning I was reminded by a good friend, that as I continue to recover, I need to remember that God is in control. In the course of the conversation, I was reminded to “Be Still.” For anyone who knows me, you already know that being still does not come easily for me… But I am working on getting better at it. (Two major surgeries in 10 months tend to slow a person down whether they want to be slowed down or not)!! Our Praise Team at church is currently working on a song that one of our worship leaders heard in Tennessee and brought back for us to learn. The song is called “Still” and it is not only beautiful, but it is an important reminder.

This song is so comforting to me. It gives me great hope to be reminded that we can hide under His wings, and that His hand covers us each and everyday. It is an awesome relief to know that He is in control, and that He rules over everything. In the midst of trouble, illness, or despair it is sometimes hard to remember that He has a plan, and that we need to trust Him. As the song says, we find rest in Him, and in Him alone. I can’t tell you how many times I have tried to find respite somewhere else, only to fail miserably. God is the only answer. When we are still, and acknowledge that He is God, and allow Him to be our King, our trials don’t seem to be so big.


Still
(Words and music by Rueben Morgan)

Hide me now
Under Your wings.
Cover me
Within Your mighty hand.
When the oceans rise and
Thunders roar,
I will soar with You
Above the storm.
Father You are King
Over the flood.
I will be still
And know You are God.

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone.
Know His pow’r
In quietness and trust.
When the oceans rise and
Thunders roar,
I will soar with You
Above the storm.
Father You are King
Over the flood.
I will be still
And know You are God.

Yes, I will be still
And know You are God.

Farewell to Busch Stadium

“Grandpa, take me to see the Cardinals…PLLEEEEEAAASSSEE?!” I have a lot of memories of Busch Stadium, and as the wrecking ball starts swinging today, I can’t help but to feel a little bit sad. Grandpa and I spent many Saturday and Sunday afternoons cheering on the amazing St. Louis Cardinals. We were lucky to have tickets to several games over the years, but we didn’t complain if we had to watch the game in the comfort of his living room on the Zenith console TV that he was proud to tell you that he had fixed multiple times. As I think about the demolition of Busch, I wipe away tears of joy from happy memories and tears of sadness as I am reminded how much I miss my grandfather. Busch Stadium was a very special place for us.

After 40 seasons, the lights have gone out at the current Busch Stadium for the last time. Shortly before 3 o’clock today, the process of removing the Stadium from it’s 30 year home will begin. The stadium opened May 12, 1966, and the Cardinals beat the Atlanta Braves. The Cardinals played six World Series in the stadium, winning two (1967 and 1982). They were 1,760-1,409 in the regular season and 35-18 in the postseason.

I suppose that we will always have flashes in our minds of longtime broadcaster Jack Buck, and players such as Ozzie Smith, Bob Gibson, and Mark McGuire. True fans will always remember the words “Get up, baby! Get up!” and the famous back flip that Ozzie always did on opening day. Of course we all remember when Mark hit #62 to break the home-run record, and we were all amazed when he wound up with a whopping 70 homeruns in one season. We saw great plays, true sportsmanship, and the best fans on the face of the planet! We saw the Sea of Red turn into a Cardinal Nation, and were excited as we watched records get broken by some of the classiest baseball players in Major League Baseball.

Memories were made at Busch Stadium. I remember my first game with grandpa. I remember my first game with my husband. I remember the first game that I took my daughter to. I remember the anticipation of going downtown, the rush that I felt with every homerun, the noise of the crowd, the price of a diet coke, and the time spent going down the ramp to get out of the parking garage! I remember great times with family and friends, singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” and the moments of silence we all shared at the stadium after 9-11. I remember the cap dance, some of the craziest calls by men in blue uniforms that I have ever seen, and the rivalry with the Cubs. I remember…

Busch Stadium as I remember it is gone, but I am looking forward to the new stadium and the new memories that will be created there. I can only imagine that some things will stay the same: the cost of a diet coke, the best fans in the world, and the classiest players in the League just to name a few. I’ll miss the Old Busch but am thankful for the New Busch.

Thanks for the memories…they are priceless.

Thanks, Oprah!

I must admit that since I have been home during the day recovering, I watch entirely too much TV. I am not a huge talk show fan; in fact, most of them irritate me to no end, so I usually avoid them. In spite of that fact, I am often intrigued, and even impressed with Oprah. Don't get me wrong, I could easily do without the weight loss and adultery focused shows, but I don't think anyone can argue the fact that Oprah is doing really wonderful things. I really believe that she is changing the world that we live in for the good.

About a week ago, I was flipping channels and came across her show. She was talking about a new campaign that she has started to get wanted child molesters off of the streets. After showing pictures of these wanted perpetrators, she explained to the audience that she would personally give a $100,000 reward to anyone who was willing to aid in the capture and arrest of these wanted criminals. Wow! I suppose that it is sad that people need to be paid to do what is right anyway, but money talks, and it always has.

As scary as it is, Oprah is facing the facts of childhood sexual abuse, and she is asking us to do the same. As a survivor herself, this is a close subject to her heart. If the statistics are correct, one out of every four girls and one out of six boys will be sexually abused by the time they are 18 years old. I personally applaud Oprah for reminding us that America has a huge problem on our hands when it comes to the abuse of children. Thank you Oprah.

I know that we are all busy, but please take a second to check out Oprah.com and take a look at these perpetrators. Also, please read the link about what we can do to keep our kids, (and other kids too) safe. Who knows, you might be $100,000 richer and countless children may be protected if you do.

It Has Been a Wonderful Day!

It really is a blessing to be married to your best friend. We had a GREAT day! Since Bekah is gone for the weekend at the youth retreat, Jason and I thought we would take advantage of the time together. We started the day by sharing thoughts over a cup of coffee (which was amazingly good-it was Chocolate Truffle flavored, which I brought back from my Vermont trip). Since I am feeling so much better, and way ahead of my healing schedule, we thought we would venture out to the mall for a change of scenery. I am not sure if I am proud of this, or ashamed for already getting sucked into the hype of the holidays, but we started our Christmas shopping!! Does anyone (other than my late grandmother) Christmas shop this early? We walked the mall, hand in hand and it was great to be out among the living again. We shared an appetizer at Chevy's and just sat and talked and enjoyed each other's company. It was so good to be able to focus on each other without hearing the sweet voices of Bekah or Jen saying, "We need more money," or "Did you see that really cute guy?" Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade that experience either, it is just nice to have "couple time." Anyway, we finished the afternoon of shopping and headed home. We discussed the beautiful colors of the trees and the incredible words of the new song we had just been introduced to. Now we are at home, and plan to watch movies, share some popcorn, and just hang out. I know that some of you (family members who are far away) like to hear the details of our daily life, and others of you don't really care to hear all of the details. In either case, I hope that you will take this thought from this post: The people in our lives are gifts from God~ remember to appreciate the little things, like a good cup of coffee or the touch of a hand. I am so thankful that I am married to my best friend, and I wanted to share that with you today! (The above picture was taken by a good friend at a fund raising event on September 30, 2005. Thanks Brad, you seem to be the only one who can take a half way decent picture of us!)

November is National Adoption Awareness Month

Each year, November is recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. While all adoption-related issues are important, the particular focus of this month is the adoption of children currently in foster care.
The theme of National Adoption Month 2005 is "Answering the Call." This theme builds on The Collaboration to AdoptUsKids' national recruitment campaign. The purpose of National Adoption Month is to raise awareness about the 119,000 children in foster care nationwide waiting for permanent families. Recruitment efforts are highlighted by encouraging America's families to "answer the call" to ensure the safety, permanency, and well-being of our children.

God calls each one of us to take care of the orphans.

James 1:27-28 (New International Version)
27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

We all can help. We all can make a difference. If you are interested in learning more about adoption, please contact Christian Family Services by using the link on this page. If adopting isn’t really an option for your family, please consider making a monetary donation to CFS to help with the costs of helping children to be placed in permanent homes!

Congratulations to Eric and Jeri Cope and their new son Benny! We praise God that you opened your heart to adopting!

It's Official!

We’d like to say Congratulations to our very good friends Paul Mitchell and Jodi McLaughlin. Paul proposed to Jodi on her birthday, November 1st. SHE SAID “YES!” The ring is absolutely beautiful! We are so excited for them and thank God that He brought them together. They are both wonderful people who have such wonderful servant hearts- we can only imagine what they will be able to accomplish together! Paul and Jodi have set a July 2006 wedding date.

NO MORE NECK SURGERY FOR ME!

It all started with a broken neck in 1986. I had a spinal fusion at that time which helped to stabilize me, and I was able to beat the odds partially because of that stabilization. I believe that I was able to overcome because of the grace and healing of our Lord, but the neck surgeons helped me a long! Much to the doctor’s surprise, I learned to walk again and take care of myself on my own once again. Time passed. To be exact, 18 years passed, and my fusion from 1986 started falling apart. My once forgotten spinal cord symptoms of muscle spasticity and sensation loss returned. I was referred by my primary care physician to the Rehabilitation Institute at Barnes. The doctors at the Institute sent me for a MRI, and I was immediately referred to one of the best cervical spine surgeons in the country, Dr. Riew. It was determined that I would require surgery to fix the problems. So, on January 24, 2005, I had another spinal fusion. Things were rough, as I developed an infection, and it was a long road to recovery. Several months into my recovery another MRI showed that I required yet another surgery. To say that my family and I were disappointed would be a huge understatement. But, we trusted Dr. Riew, and the surgery was scheduled for October 5, 2005. We were told to expect another lengthy recovery period. In fact, we were told that it could be as long as 16 weeks. We put our faith in God, and prayed for a rapid recovery that would shock the doctors. As scheduled, I had my operation on the morning of October 5th. The first 5 days afterward were truly awful, and the pain was unbearable. Once again, my family and friends looked to God for healing and comfort. I’ll be honest; I looked to my morphine pump for comfort! After day 5, I rapidly improved. In fact, I was required to see the doctor for a small follow-up procedure on day 7, and when I returned to Barnes, the doctors and nurses were shocked at my improvement. In fact, the surgeon said that he was “stunned” at how well I was doing! God answered our prayer. Glory to His name! I thought I would share a picture with you of what my x-rays look like. Please note that this x-ray isn’t really me, but it is very similar to mine. The person in the above picture has 10 screws, 2 plates, and 2 rods. As best I can tell, he is fused from C3– T1 with the exception of C5-C6. I have 14 screws, 2 rods, 2 plates, and am solidly fused from C2-T1. This picture gives a pretty good idea of what the inside of my neck looks like– OUCH! Dr. Riew has assured me that I am COMPLETLEY fixed this time. I will never be completely pain free, but I am completely stable at this point! Praise God– NO MORE NECK SURGERY FOR ME! To God be the glory!

Entering the Wonderful World of Blogging!

Well, we have tried this once before, but had to delete our family blog site due to a very unwelcomed guest to our site. After much consideration, we have begun the process of removing our site that stated our last name, and have decided to go with something a little more generic and less easy for uninvited guests to intrude. Perhaps it is for the best, we weren't really happy with the site as it was before anyway!

We have a lot to share. As you all know, I am continuing to recover after my 2nd major surgery in 10 months, Jason is loving his new job, and our little girl is growing up right before our eyes. There is also a lot to share about our church family and our close circle of friends. Over the course of the next few days we hope to bring you up to date, and get some pictures on the site. So, bear with us, we will get this blog thing worked out yet!

Blessings and Love to all!